Brenda's Contact Center Bytes's - Brenda Wellwood - ContactCenterWorld.com Blog
If Dr. Seuss Had Written Call Center Stories
I will not take incoming calls
I’d rather mop floors at the mall!
How do you know unless you try?
I’m telling you, I’d rather die
I will not take them in the day
There’s no way you can make me play
I will not take those calls at night
You must not think I’m very bright
Of course I do, you’d have to be
To take calls from our ACD
Would you take them for good pay?
I’m really understaffed today
I would not take them for good pay
Your staffing problem’s here to stay
I would not take them for an hour
Not for you or Eddie Bauer
Have you ever been a rep?
For your career it’s a good step
Won’t you answer just one call?
I’m telling you, you’ll have a ball
I will not take even just one
To me it doesn’t sound like fun
Headsets always hurt my ears
I’m going home to drink some beers
That’s just fine, you little devil
You’d probably hurt our service level
I can see that you are weak
And couldn’t handle our call peak
Who you calling weak, you putz?
I’ll show you who’s got the guts
Log me on, I’ll take a few
And I’ll delight your callers too!
But just so that we’re very clear
After these calls I’m outta here
This ain’t half bad, in fact it’s fine
Helping callers on the line
I can feel the service power
How much do you pay an hour?
Hold on there, friend, not so fast
How do I know that you will last?
High turnover is a pest
I need to hire the very best
I am you man, now that’s for sure
Forget those things I said before
I’ll meet objectives and stop complaining
I’ll always seek ongoing training
Don’t make me mop the floors at the mall
I want to take incoming calls
I will take them in the day
And keep caller complaints at bay
I will work the night shift, too
Just let me at that blasted queue!
Publish Date: November 13, 2009 12:48 PM